Grief and Loss Counselling

"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." Vicki Harrison

As a volunteer bereavement counsellor at a Hertfordshire hospice and a helpline advisor for a national bereavement helpline, I support clients to explore the pain of their loss with care, compassion, respect and without judgement. I work alongside clients to support them to help process painful losses in their life, to share and unravel complex and often conflicting feelings together, session by session, to increase understanding of themselves, their life, relationships and the impact of their loss.

I work with a wide range of loss, including: the death of a person or a pet; an anticipatory loss - such as living with someone with a life limiting illness, like dementia; the loss of a life planned, e.g. due to miscarriage; loss of a job, e.g redundancy; loss of mobility, due to ageing or illness; loss of home country; complex grief e.g. when a loss cannot be openly acknowledged or grieved; and all and any other forms of loss. I am also a Foundation for Infant Loss Training accredited practitioner, supporting clients with pregnancy and infant loss and with subsequent pregnancies after loss.

Grieving alone is an intensely painful experience. Often support is provided in the early months after a loss, but with time it can become increasingly difficult for people to show friends and family how deep their grief is, for fear of ‘being a burden’ or ‘upsetting’ family who are also grieving. I support clients so they don’t have to bear their grief alone and provide a space where they feel safe to express all and any feelings associated with their loss without having to consider how they might impact anyone else. I understand that the passing of time can intensify feelings for some, and I work with clients to process losses often decades after the event, supporting them to understand their intense feelings of pain and loss regardless of the years that may have passed.

Grief can cause strain on family relationships because people experience grief differently – there is no ‘normal’ way to grieve. One family member may be overwhelmed and find it difficult to cope and others may seem ‘fine’. Some families may grow closer as they support each other and want to spend more time together, others may grow apart.

Grief can be exhausting. It can affect every area of your life - your relationships, work, sleep - and can have an impact on your whole body. Grief creates different emotions like sadness, anxiety, shock, guilt, depression, shame and anger. It can affect you physically and lead to low energy and loss or increase in appetite. It can cause poor sleeping patterns – making it difficult to fall or stay asleep – leaving you fatigued and affecting motivation. It can affect your day-to-day behaviour making you forgetful, leaving you struggling to do everyday things. Grief can leave you feeling isolated, lonely and withdrawn.

If you are struggling with feelings associated with grief and loss and feel you would benefit from counselling sessions, please do get in touch.