Do I Need Counselling? How to Know When It Might Be Time to Reach Out...

You don’t need to be in crisis to come to counselling. And you don’t need to have everything figured out before you pick up the phone. One of the most common things people say when they first get in touch is some version of: “I wasn’t sure I was bad enough to need this.” or "I've coped with much worse than this in the past." It’s worth saying clearly - there’s no threshold you need to reach to have a sense that talking to someone independent might be helpful. Counselling isn’t only for people who are in crisis. It’s for anyone who’s carrying something that feels heavy, confusing or just stuck.

How do you know if counselling might help?

Some signs that it might be worth reaching out:

You’ve been feeling low, anxious or overwhelmed for a while and it doesn’t seem to be shifting on its own. You find yourself going over the same thoughts or situations again and again without getting anywhere. Something has happened - a loss, a relationship ending, a change you didn’t choose and you’re not sure how to process it. You may feel disconnected from yourself or like you’re just going through the motions. You could be living with grief, and you’re not sure what to do with all the varied emotions you’re feeling. You may have begun to recognise that anxiety or low mood have become your default setting and it’s starting to affect your day-to-day life. The feelings and thoughts could be about anything at all, whatever it is, if something is troubling you, that’s enough.

What if I’m not sure what I want to talk about?

That’s completely fine. Many people come to counselling without knowing exactly what or where they need to start - just a sense that something isn’t right. You don’t need to have your story sorted out before we start. The space is yours to use in whatever way feels right for you.

Will I have to talk about things I’m not ready for?

No. In person-centred counselling you are always in control of what you share and when. There’s no pressure to talk about something before you’re ready. You decide the pace and you can always put the brakes on. Some things take time to find words for and that’s something I hold with care. You are the expert on your own life and warmth, honesty and my full attention are always present, wherever you choose to take things.

For some people, especially those carrying trauma, anxiety or depression, even talking can feel like too much at first. Alongside counselling, I also offer breathwork sessions - gentle, body-based practices that support your nervous system and help you feel safer in yourself, without needing to speak about anything before you’re ready.

Is it normal to feel nervous about starting?

Completely. But something that many people find helpful is the way I structure the beginning of our work - we start with a brief telephone chat, then a 30-minute introductory call, so that by the time we sit down for a first full session, it’s actually the third time we’ve spoken. That familiarity can take quite a bit of the unknown out of it.

Where are you based?

I offer counselling in person in Borehamwood and Bushey, Hertfordshire, easily accessible from Radlett, Elstree, Watford, Barnet, and surrounding areas and online via Zoom across the UK.

Who do I work with?

I work with adults aged 18 and over experiencing a wide range of difficulties, including anxiety, depression, grief and loss, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem and life transitions. I’m a fully qualified integrative counsellor, a registered member of the BACP and an accredited NHS Talking Therapies counsellor with specialist training in Person-Centred Experiential Counselling for Depression (PCE-CfD).

Ready to find out more?

If something in this blog has stirred a curiosity, I’d warmly invite you to get in touch - just to have an initial conversation, to ask any questions and to explore together whether this might be the right time for you to start counselling. There’s no obligation to book anything further. My door is open to whatever brought you here and if you're ready to take that first step, do get in touch.